RHAP Fanfiction

What if Rob didn’t give Taran a Survivor Podcast?

Rob sat in his spaceship, as it raced to the podcast studio. He was deeply troubled by what he had seen on the monitor.

Josh Wiggler knelt on the ground, crying and begging for mercy. “Please, we can stop, it’s not too late. You can take over the Wiggle Room”

A familiar figure in a dark hood approached raising forth his red lightsaber, which hissed on. A moment later the blade had carved through Wiggler.

Rob’s spaceship landed and he approached the podcast studio. There waiting for him was his apprentice, Taran Armstrong. The man who had killed Josh Wiggler.

“Rob,” Taran said. “How did you find me.”

Rob gestured to the third figure in the room. Frail Mary.

“I just wanted him to know we were recording the Blockumentary for Big Brother Season 4,” Mary said.

“Traitor!” Taran yelled, and reached out with his Podcast Force to send Mary flying.

“Have you lost your mind!” Rob yelled. He pulled out his microphone which turned into a green lightsaber as it hissed on. “You’ve become completely unhinged.”

“Can you blame me, after all those live feeds! How many Big Brother podcasts have I produced for you. But you couldn’t let me record ONE podcast about Survivor? No, its about the Wiggle Room!”

Taran pulled out his red lightsaber and leapt at Rob, their blade crossing in a fury of sparks, blades smashing against each other with fervor. Rob dodged an attack, and backhanded Taran across the room.

“The Wandoff is popular!”

“I thought the Wandoff was over!”

“The Wandoff is never over!”

Taran hurled his lightsaber at Rob, who quickly tried to dodge out of the way. Taran kicked out sending Rob flying into some podcast equipment. Taran unleashed some Podcast Force Lightning, torturing Rob with the power of the hate he had absorbed from the Big Brother live feeds. It looked bad for Rob, had Taran finally surpassed his Podcast Force powers?

Suddenly the disembodied voice of Boston Rob spoke.

Smahten Up Cesternino.

Rob let out a beastiel llama yell, the most powerful animal in all of reality tv history. And he summoned the most powerful Podcast Force blast he could, and he hurled Taran across the room into a computer which exploded. The studio was lit ablaze. Rob got up and faced Taran who was trapped under a pile of equipment, as fiery embers began consuming him.

“You were the chosen one! I trusted you with all the Big Brother coverage!”

“I hate you!”

Rob walked away shaking his head.

***

Several minutes later, Brent Wolgamott arrived at the studio. He found the broken and burned body of Taran.

“Oh my poor boy. We are going to rebuild you. Stronger, and more powerful than ever.”

To Be Continued