Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 22 Week 5 Game and Show Rankings

     Tom's Take:

Week 5, had the game keep on rolling. Bay/Day were split up, and the Tyler/Dani war heated up even more. 

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 22 Week 4 Game and Show Rankings

    Tom's Take:

Week 4 Brought about the end of another legend. But he went out swinging. Also we're getting the heating up of the Dani/Tyler war

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 22 Game and Show Rankings Week 3

   Tom's Take:

Week 3 brought the end of a legend. And we are now living in a post Janelle BB22 world. 

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 22 Week 2 Game and Show Rankings

  Tom's Take:

Week 2 is in the books and we have some game and show rankings! 

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 22 Game and Show Rankings Week 1

 Tom's Take:

Week 1 is in the books and we have some game and show rankings! 

Five Drinks Into Reality TV Big Brother 22 Game And Show Rankings

Tom's Take:

Welcome back to Biiiiiig Brother. And to start our allstars season off, we've got a 2 hour live premiere, which was an absolute shit show. But this cast is here. And they are DELIVERING.

RHAP Fanfiction

What if Rob didn’t give Taran a Survivor Podcast?

Five Drinks Into a Survivor Concept: Survivor Savage Island

Tom's Take:





First off, I am loving Survivor Winners at War so far. I think my top winner pick has somehow quickly become Tony Vlachos. for anyone who's watched, I am what I consider to be a Breadfruit Truther. In the latest episode, Yul was shown carefully constructing a tool to safely get a single breadfruit, which in my opinion represents his single win. Tony meanwhile used a crazily build ladder to haphardly make it up to the top of a tree, to grab two breadfruits, which I think represent the idea that he's going to somehow against all odds, manage to get a 2nd win this season.

Anyways this blog post isn't about Survivor WAW. It is about a concept for a Season I came up with. Survivor: Savage Island.

RAANAP Constitution

We the Hosts of the Rob and Akiva Need a Podcast Podcast, in Order to form a more perfect Podcast, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Rob and Akiva Need a Podcast Podcast.

Article I:

Section. 1.

The executive Power shall be vested in the two Hosts of the Podcast: Rob Cesternino of RHAP, and Akiva Wienerkur of 32 Fans.  They shall hold these offices in perpetuity for the rest of their lives.

Before they enter on the Execution of his Office, they shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:—"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of Hose of the Rob and Akiva Need a Podcast Podcast, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the Rob and Akiva Need a Podcast Podcast."

Section 2.

The Hosts of the Podcast shall have the power to jointly decide which ideas get put on the Rob and Akiva Need a Podcast Wheel, including the power to modify any and all ideas before they are placed on the Wheel. Additionally the Hosts of the Podcast have the power to jointly decide if the idea belongs in a subsequent mechanism, and if there are any special mechanics to the choosing of this idea, through Amendment to the Constitution.  However, once an idea is placed on the Wheel, either directly or in a subsequent mechanism, neither Host of the Podcast may remove it without cause without both Hosts of the Podcast facing a Penalty. Cause exists in such cases as there is a necessary co-host who is unavailable, or when there are other circumstances that arise to the level necessitating a Respin of the Wheel. A Penalty to be faced by the Hosts of the Podcast, include watching an episode of Skam to discuss in the next Episode’s Prelude. If necessary the Penalties can be expanded to include watching other shows, or owing Genie Wishes to their Spouses.

Section 3.

Each of the Hosts of the Podcast, shall have the power to Veto one idea selection after a Wheel Spin, per calendar year. When a veto is executed the Wheel is respun, however the idea that was vetoed is not itself removed from the Wheel or Subsequent Mechanism.

Section 4.

Each of the Hosts of the Podcast shall have the unilateral right to declare another individual, podcast, place, or concept as an Opp of the Podcast. Cessation of the conflict requires joint agreement by the Hosts of the Podcast.

Section 5.

Both Hosts of the Podcast acting jointly may declare that the Podcast and the Hosts of the Podcast are Stans of any person, podcast, place, or concept. Either Host of the Podcast may end the Standom for Cause. Standom shall be considered automatically terminated if there is a popular consensus that the Subject of Standom has been Cancelled.

Section 6.

Rob Cesternino, as Editor of the Podcast has the unilateral right to decide what sound effects are played during the Podcast, including what the opening and closing theme songs are. However Rob will agree to listen to the advise of Akiva on the subject.

Section 7.

Akiva Wienerkur  has the unilateral right to decide what ideas in the Mailbag make it on to Mount RAANAPmore, a group of the four best ideas submitted for the week as decided by Akiva. This right extends even to Akiva’s baffling decisions to ignore great ideas to include random nonsense call in show ideas, and basically anything Shut Up Tim suggests for some reason.

Section 8.

Although Rob and Akiva can not be formally impeached, they can be impeached in an informal proceeding. All petitions for Rob and/or Akiva to be impeached should be tweeted to @ PineappleBoy27

Article II:

Section 1.

The Judicial Power shall be vested in an Ombudsperson, and a Supreme Court of RAANAP Guest Hosts. The Ombudsperson is Aiesha Ward until such time as she decides to resign the post, at which time the Hosts of the Podcast shall jointly select a new Ombudsperson.  The RAANAP Supreme Court shall be lead by Ali Lasher, the Millennial Judge until such time as she retires or expires, and consist of a panel of judges numbering no less than three, and no more than fifteen. The current Champion of the RAANAP Royal Rumble gets a position as Judge on the RAANAP Supreme Court.  Other than the Millennial Judge, and current RAANAP Royal Rumble Champion, each Judge on this Panel will be appointed by joint agreement of the Hosts of the Podcast, and serve for a term of 10 episodes, with no Judge serving more than two consecutive terms.

Section 2.

The Ombudsperson has the power to declare decisions made by the Hosts of the Podcast as Unconstitutional. This includes removal of Podcast ideas, whether the addition of certain ideas to the Wheel are allowable per prior decisions or bets, determinations of how many spots certain mechanisms receive on the Wheel, and the Ombudsperson may also officiate conflicts between Hosts of the Podcast, including determination of whether certain bets are allowable. The Ombudsperson may also be contacted by Hosts to pre-emptively make decisions as to the constitutionality of certain decisions by the Hosts.

Section 3.

Decisions of the Ombudsperson may be appealed by the Hosts to the Supreme Court of RAANAP.

Section 4.

The RAANAP Supreme Court may also have whatever powers necessary to execute their additional duties as necessitated by the Hosts of the Podcast, or Comedy.

Section 5.

Although the Judges of the RAANAP Supreme Court can not be formally impeached, they can be impeached in an informal proceeding. All petitions for a member of the RAANAP Supreme Court to be impeached should be tweeted to @ PineappleBoy27

Article III:

Section 1.

The Legislative Power shall be vested in the Congress of RAANAP, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section 2

The House of Representatives shall be made up of all Twitter users who vote on polls put out by Akiva on the Twitter platform, with the decision to move to a new or more relevant social media platform to be determined by Akiva.  The House of Representatives shall have such powers as the Hosts of the Podcast determine.

Section 3

The Senate shall be made up Patrons of RHAP and/or 32 Fans who choose to message Rob and or Akiva on the Patreon Platform or 32 Fans WhatsApp groupchat. The Senate shall have such powers as the Hosts of the Podcast determine.

Section 4

The Senate members can be impeached by not paying Rob and or Akiva money. Rob and Akiva have kids to feed.

Article IV:

The Hosts of the Podcast, may at the time of putting a new idea on the Wheel, or expanding an existing idea into a franchise, may create a new mechanism via Amendment to the Constitution. All Amendments must be thorough, and communicated to the Ombudsperson clearly. Amendments can be incorporated to the Constitution by a tweet agreed on by both Hosts and the Ombudsperson, from any of their three Twitter accounts.

Amendment 1:

Ideas for watching Season 3 Episode 7 of a Television Show shall, upon agreement by the Hosts of the Podcast be added to the subsequent mechanist of Fishbowl, and each idea shall be written on a Ping Pong Ball. When a Wheel Spin comes up, a ping pong ball is picked from the Fishbowl. After an idea is picked from the Fishbowl, the Season 3 Episode 7 slot on the Wheel shall be reduced to one space, however each following week, it will expand by one additional space until the next time it comes up. At any one time, there can be at most 13 ideas in the fish bowl.

Amendment 2.

Ideas for watching a crappy movie shall be placed in a diaper. After selection, the Diaper’s spot on the Wheel shall be reduced to 0 spots, and increase each week by one, with a maximum of two spots on the wheel. At any one time, there can be at most 9 ideas in the Crappy Movie Diaper.

Amendment 3.

Ideas for a Sequel are selected by rolling a 20 sided dice, with each side corresponding to an idea. The Sequel Mechanism is only active when there are at least four sequel ideas active. At most there can be twenty active sequels. There is no Penalty for removing a Sequel concept if both Hosts agree that there is a more deserving sequel idea, and there are already 20 ideas in the Sequel mechanism. 10 Episodes after every Podcast idea has come up, the Hosts of the Podcasts shall Review if the Podcast was worth doing a sequel of. At the date of Ratifying this Amendment, the Hosts shall go through all previous Podcasts, to determine which require sequels.  

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Final Game and Show Rankings and Season Wrap Up

Tom's Take




The end of this season was disappointing, except for this final moment. Nicole was my favorite player, and I'm glad she was America's favorite too.

But let's talk more about the players and the season as I break down all these players below.

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Weeks 10 and 11

Tom's Take

Double Eviction, and we are (fingers crossed) heading towards a possibly very satisfying ending to this unexpectedly good season of Big Brother.

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Game and Show Week 9

Tom's Take

Prank Week!

Five Drinks Into Reality TV Big Brother 21 Game and Show Rankings for Week 8

Tom's Take

Taco Tuesdays will never be the same!

Five Drinks Into Reality TV Big Brother 21 Game and Show Rankings Week 7

Tom's Take

BB21 had a bounce back week.....in that it bounced back to being terrible. Let's rank these Melonheads!

Five Drinks Into Reality TV Big Brother 21 Game and Show Rankings Week 6

Tom's Take

BB21 had a good week!!!

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Week 5 Game and Show Rankings

Tom's Take

Is BB21 Finally starting to look up? Spoiler alert, I'm posting this late, so my rankings may be affected by this coming week's events.

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Game and Show Rankings Week 4

Tom's Take

The 4th HG who was a POC was evicted in a row. What a dark mark against BB21. And it really looks like the game is going to be miserable. But let's keep on trucking.

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Game and Show Rankings Week 3

Tom's Take

Things are starting to look up, despite the horrible outcome of the first 3 evictees all being POC, the game is getting dynamic. If you're still watching despite the racist undertones of this season, I think things will get better from this week on.

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Game and Show Rankings Week 2

Tom's Take

We've got another season of Big Brother to watch and argue over! Yay! *lol, that was my quote last week. Oh boy.*

Five Drinks Into Reality TV: Big Brother 21 Week 1 Game and Show Rankings

Tom's Take

We've got another season of Big Brother to watch and argue over! Yay!